Sometimes I Wonder...

What the H im doing... How can I wait for someone for 2 years and not know FOR SURE that it will all work out? Why would I waste my high school years waiting for one guy? How the heck am I going to do this without totally breaking down just seeing Fig Newtons because they have his last name on it? But then I think about him, about us, about everything we did, about how we acted together, about how comfortable I am with him, about all the sacrifices we made for eachother, about the first time he said I Love You to me, about how much he means to me. Right after he left I kept going back and forth on whether I should wait for him or not...one day it was yes the next day it was no. I couldnt decide and all he said before he left was "It doesnt matter because I know I can win you back over when I come back. If not I will kick his butt." I hate to say it but it was a hard decision for me. Then finally one monday, we were emailing and I told him everything I was feeling and deciding whether or not if I should wait for him or not. I WANTED too but didnt know if it was the right thing for him...then he said "I feel like you might need space, but writing in my journal and praying about it when im not praying for my investigators , it just feels right and well here I have learned more than ever to trust my feelings, and yes one of those feelings is to have you wait for me." AHH I felt like crawling up in my bed with my teddy bear from him and squeezin the crap outta him! It was such a good feeling to know that he has been praying about it too and now I know it was the right decision and I cant imagine it any other way...He is the my one and only love.